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I'm attracted to people with these 8 traits

Over the years, what I'm looking for in people - whether in friends or a romantic relationship - has changed.

As we grow, mature, hopefully wise up... our needs develop. We have got to know ourselves much better and understand what it is that makes us tick, excited and function to our best ability.

Floral background - cover of What's Bugging You? Mapology Guide

I've been self developing and doing the work for over 33 years. That's a long time and all I can tell you is that I'm not done yet. I guess one is never done with inner work. But what I do know more about is the kind of people I want to be around, and spend time with. The kind of people that light my fire and make my life better.

1. Emotional intelligence
It is what I'm about. all stop. There is no right or wrong but my path has led me to do inner work and I enjoy being around people who have some emotional intelligence.

2. Empathy
Not everyone has empathy. There are many reasons why some people have it and others may not. This is no judgement - but as a rather empathetic person I need to be around people that understand empathy and can empathise.

3. Effective communication
I notice more and more how people lack in clear and effective communication. What happens when we are unclear, it leaves a lot of room for interpretation. Believe me I've done my fair share of analysing and trying to interpret what people are saying, meaning and so on. There is a Mapology Guide in this one (it's on the list). Often the person who is unclear does not realise how it may affect the other person. 

4. Curiosity
I'm extremely curious, always asking questions, eager to learn and never just satisfied with the status quo. I thrive on it. To me, being curious is being alive. I don't need anyone to be as curious as me - but having some interest in growth and expanding their horizons is attractive to me.

5. Open-mindedness
I'm drawn to open-minded individuals. They challenge me to question my own beliefs and consider alternative viewpoints. And if something rings true then they are not scared to change their mind or take on a different viewpoint. 

6. Humility
Being humble is really important. Because if you're humble you understand that you don't know everything, that there's a lot to learn. Being humble also means that the ego is not getting in the way. My nervous breakdown and subsequent long-term psychotherapy taught me to be humble and I'm forever grateful for this.

7. A love for learning
As well as being curious, being a life long learner is very important to me. Seeking self-awareness, self-knowledge and self-improvement is a vocation, a never-ending journey. It's attractive to be passionate about learning. As I grow as a person I love to be around others who do too. 

8. Perseverance
The big one.... people who have perseverance don't shy away from problems, from set-backs. They persevere, trying to come up with solutions. 

All these traits can be learned. I know this because I've learned them. Not everyone is interested to learn and expand their inner and outer world. And thank God for that. Imagine we would all want the same things in life. That's why there is the ying and the yang. Opposites do attract - or so I thought for many years. Now I'm not so sure. 

What do you think?